Are we just making excuses?
If I got a Euro for every-time I have heard an excuse like “I am too old to change, my family were always like that, it’s okay for them, they have money, support, a good job, a good house, time. “People will laugh at me, I don’t know enough, other people know more than me”. Being truthful I gave these excuses myself. It is easier to give an excuse than to change. Changing means giving up the comfort of what you know and doing something different. All those horrible uncomfortable feelings come up in your tummy and in your head when you begin to change the things you have always done. We take this as a sign that we are better off where we are. The feelings and thoughts go away, and we feel better, at least for a while. Then we begin to feel stuck again and admire other people who have achieved what we want to achieve or changed something in their lives that was not working. I have been there myself. I have felt those feelings and I have backed out of going any further. “I’ll do it another time; I’ll wait until the time is right” This is what I told myself. However, the time is never right. It is never right because we find another excuse to stay where we are comfortable. This comfort never brings change.
In order to bring change, we must first state clearly what we want. Then remember those old uncomfortable feelings will come up but this time you are expecting them. In the past this is where we begin to make the excuses. Instead welcome the feelings. Thank them for coming. Then reassure them that while you feel them, you are going forward with your plan. These feelings are only trying to protect you and believe that by frightening you, they are doing an excellent job. That is why we feel stuck. One part of us wants the change while the other feels scared to make that change.
Step 1. Make your plan
Step 2. Expect old worrying feelings to come up and listen for your old excuses
Step 3 Reassure yourself
Step 4. Move forward
Feel free to let me know what you think or better still, let me know of a time in your life, that you heard the excuses in your head but went ahead anyway and how it worked out.
Nicola Scully
